Bold Turquoise

Jun 27 2011

God’s Idea of Success

Lately I would call what I have been going through as nothing less than a spiritual battle.  The struggles I have been facing are on so many different levels that they are hard to put into words.  Much of the time I feel like an absolute failure.  I get angry and frustrated and downright worn out with life.  BUT, through all of it I know that God is doing a work.  He’s up to something big.  He’s rocking the boat of my entire family and forcing us to redefine our days by what He deems as success.  And what He deems as success is only one thing.  ONE.

Living for Him.

Being a good and faithful servant to Him.  Accepting His Son as the only way to take away our failures and then spending everyday there after pursuing Him with an unquenchable fervor.

When we reach the pearly gates, empty handed, that is the ONLY thing we have to give- the only thing we have that will make any difference for ETERNITY- the days and minutes marked by our pursuit of Him.

That pursuit of Him, that following of His will for our lives, of course fleshes itself out in a countless number of ways- He is, after all, a creative God.  It doesn’t look like days upon days shut up in a room with your nose buried in a Bible reading only by candle light- He’s more practical than that and He knows that we still have to keep on existing on this earth until we go to meet Him.  And while it does, of course, involve spending time one-on-one with Him, reading His word, talking to Him and listening so that we intimately know His heartbeat and whisper in our lives, living for Him steps out of those moments.  Living for Him carries into every breath we take, every single minute decision we make, every place we go and word we speak.

It isn’t easy.  He, of course helps when we ask Him but He also expects us to put in our fair share of the effort.  We have to come through with diligence and self-discipline- two words that are especially difficult in my often self-absorbed head.  I have to be willing to put hands and feet to His will and to take captive every thought- dwelling on what is good.

Nope, it isn’t easy.

But it is ALL that matters.

And when it comes right down to it, beyond any other successes my children can have on this earth, if they have not Jesus, if they aren’t pursuing Him, then none of it matters.  No superstardom or amount of money will mean one iota when they stand alone before the Creator of the universe and their ultimate fate is decided- that which lasts forever… sooooo much longer than we can ever even possibly begin to fathom.

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This knowledge is what has to shape my days.  Above any homeschool curriculum (which I am currently immersed in planning, hence my sparse posting), or extracurricular whatevers, or plans or playdates or parties, our days must be governed ultimately by this.  Our going out and coming in.  Our lying down and rising up.  Our walking by the way.  And if I am not giving my all to first pursuing Jesus myself and next showing these little people how (and well, throw being a Godly wife in before that too!), than why am I even here?

I have so much work to do!  It’s never going to be a cake walk.  But He is worth it.  They are worth it.  And when the going gets tough, as it daily does, I have to remind myself that they are blessings, not burdens.  That I am the only person who has been given the privledge of being their mother- the one entrusted with this magnificent task of pointing them to Jesus.  Of showing them what it means to have Him permeate every fiber of our days.  Of abiding in Him.

Because that is success.  And that is all that matters.

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