Bold Turquoise

Jan 23 2014

Grace in the Storm

It's been quiet, huh?

Frighteningly quiet from these once lively pages.

As many of you know, especially those in The Bold Year Challenge, I got very sick two weeks ago. A flu like I have maybe never had before in my life. A fever that felt more like a ferris wheel ride of death circulating through my body, wracking cough, unparalleled body aches in every single last joint, skin so sensitive that it felt as though it was being peeled off by even the lightest touch.

I slept for almost 24 hours straight (thanks to the help of family with the kids).

But then… worse still… the emotional attacks came. Accusations, mocking, ridicule- they bombarded my bedridden life and left me crushed much more than the illness wreaking havoc on my body.

And there was not one. thing. I could do about it. I just had to lay there and endure.

And cry out to God for help.

Perspective

You see, at the mention of one of the lovely ladies in The Bold Year Challenge it suddenly became quite clear to me what was happening. The Bible Study portion of the challenge started just 4 days before I got sick and the other verbal assaults began raining down.

I was under attack.

I finally felt like I was truly being active for the Gospel- touching other women's lives and following God on this movement… camaraderie, really, of being bold with all these ladies to focus on God and our families… and Satan didn't like it.

He doesn't like it.

He hates it.

It stopped me in my tracks

It was in that moment that I realized I had choices to make. I could shy away from my Bold Year Challenge. I could retaliate against those who had spewed their words of disdain and spew them right back. I could just give up on it all.

OR, I could be BOLD and keep following Jesus instead. I could let His Words ruminate in my heart and heal the deepest places, choosing not to be harsh on myself for having no choice but to fall behind on all the in-depth study for the Challenge and give myself the grace to just read. (I love the grace our study affords!)

I could delegate and accept the assistance of these amazing ladies who have come alongside me in this Challenge. I could get over my inability to accept help and my tendency to micromanage and instead just put parts of the Challenge in their hands and let them run with them- trusting God that this is His Challenge, not mine, and He will work out all the details. Oh, the peace in giving it over to Him completely!

Toward those who had behaved with heart-crushing harshness, who had weilded the most damage, I could be gentle and kind. No, it would not be easy and definitely not natural, but I could go out of my way to love on them. To pamper my enemies.

And I chose to be bold.

To put one foot in front of the other to follow Him.

And the love and insight He has poured out on me feels like a golden balm for my soul. I see Him working the good for me out of these brokendown pieces. What Satan intended for harm Jesus has taken charge of and has filled me up instead!

Over the last week, as I have slowly started to re-enter society in my still-healing body, I have been graciously given so much time to pray and really just think about next steps in our life, choices in our homeschool, ideas for my children. I have been able to pause from all the hub-bub of life… or most of it anyway… and just be with my kids. We've enjoyed each others' company, taken our school studies to much deeper places and been inspired to do so much more. It has been… wonderful. (sigh)

And through the sickness and the storm I feel refreshed- against all odds! I feel excited to share more deeply about where we are going with The Bold Year Challenge and I'm ecstatic that God is actually giving me actionable, bold ideas to walk forward with!

He is so good, ladies. Rest in His goodness. He will show you the way.

Go, Be Bold and Gracious!

And if you haven't dared to make the bold plunge with us yet this year, why not be part of The Challenge? It's never too late to be bold!

 

2 thoughts on “Grace in the Storm

  1. Shannon

    Glad your feeling better, it’s hard when mom gets sick. WOW she is getting so big, loved the picture of her cute toothy smile!

    have a blessed weekend

    Shannon

    Reply

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