Bold Turquoise

Mar 14 2015

On Blogging and the Loss of Our Voices

Fair Warning: This post breaks every blogging rule- it is long, not very evergreen and doesn’t contain a single pinnable image!  None-the-less, it has my heart splattered all over it and I would be lying to say that I wasn’t hoping you would read it!

Lately I have been feeling a gentle nudging to step back into this space a bit.  While it was never officially announced here on the blog, I think it is pretty obvious if you spend more than about 30 seconds here, that I have been largely absent from my writing for quite some time.  A mix of things from lack of inspiration to the frustration over what most of blogging has become these days seemed to finally paralyze my mind from creating any worthwhile material to offer up to readers.  I lost my voice.  I’m not in the business of wasting anyone’s time- yours or mine, so in the absence of the heartbeat of my blogging I stayed quiet.

So Where Did I Go?

We all have these points in life where we have to take a step back and re-evaluate some things.  Decide what really matters.  Rework what needs to be done but isn’t working in the way it is currently being executed (or just not at all).  Sometimes we intentionally choose these breaks and sometimes they are forced on us by the realities of life.

I could say that this time for me has been just over the last couple of months but if I’m being really honest I would have to trace the beginnings of this period back to the end of last March, which makes it just about a year.  This past year has been marked by the most significant shifts in my life- spiritually, emotionally, physically (hello post-4th-baby body!) and mentally, and the journey is really only beginning.  I feel like so many big things have happened this past year but I am really only on the cusp of what is to come, finally in a place where am I most fully allowing God to determine my trajectory along with every step along the way.

It is a long process of emptying myself of me and filling up with Him.  It is the mix of a few big, life-altering decisions as well as many small ones that have to be remade in each moment of real life that begs for something easier.  It is a continuous process of resolve- of picking up my cross for the joy set before me.  It is a daily laying down of my will and surrendering to Him, as well as gathering the mana needed for each specific day.

Some Things I’ve Realized Regarding Blogging

I want to get fairly real for a second and just point out some of the reasons why I have held back from blogging much this past year-

1.  I pretty much loathe the commercialism of blogging.  It has become something so different from what it started out as.  Many, many posts these days end up feeling more like a person selling themselves or a product and less of then genuinely sharing about something that they love- and I am guilty, and I hate that.

2.  Bloggers have largely stopped sharing themselves and started telling others how to do things.  Blame it on Pinterest, but if I see one more blog post titled with “The Best… whatever” or “The top 10 ways to… do such-and-such,” I’m going to scream!  Now, I am as guilty of a lover of Pinterest as the next gal, and occasionally I even enjoy reading a few of these posts (and have maybe even written some myself), but in general I feel like everyone has made themselves “the” authority on everything.

Now don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy being able to share about things I know about.  I am a researcher by nature and have poured a lot of time into learning a LOT about a LOT of different things.  Moreover, I have strong convictions about just about everything in life (hence the “bold” in my handle).  But I have come to a place where I much prefer a mentor-style relationship, both as the learner and the teacher.  I don’t take kindly to someone else assuming that they know what is “best” in my life or what is “the” way for me to do things.

Maybe it boils down to more of a realization of the bigness of God and His ability to lead those who are listening acutely to Him, whatever it is, I want this to be a “sharing” space, not a “telling” space.

3.  While I adore my smart phone and if given any sizable chunk of time could easily lose myself in the hobby of coasting around the web and discovering new things, I don’t consider myself a techy.  SEO and page analytics bore and annoy me.  While affiliate links can be nice to have in place, the process of putting them there sucks the life right out of blogging for me.  Essentially, I’m tired of blogging for profit, and not even that much profit anyway.

4.  This one is quite possibly the biggest drawback I have had to blogging this past year.  On a very personal level, some of the decisions my husband and I have made this year, things that are completely changing our life and the perspectives we have on the world and leaving a legacy for our family, are so infiltrating my thought processes that I know I can’t write without revealing them.  These decisions, however, are things that many people won’t understand, especially those close to us who we haven’t felt comfortable sharing with yet.  It only stands to reason that if I post these choices on the world wide web at some point they are going to make their way back to those people and that scares me in a variety of ways.  This bold mama feels weak and fragile when it comes to that.

5. Oh yeah, and that little thing called time, and not having enough of it… and being pregnant and having a fourth baby… and homeschooling… and trying to do actual life- that may have influenced the frequency of my blogging just a bit too!  Just maybe.

But I Do Love to Write

It would be sheer denial, however, to not acknowledge my love for weaving words.  In a very deep place I long to put text to the ways of my days.  It helps me to sort through my life, keeps me accountable and helps me to feel heard.  Not to mention my love of sharing things with other women who are in similar places in their lives or coming up behind me.  So, with that in mind, guarded and with much prayer, I am gingerly dipping my toes back into the world of blogging once again.

I want to actually do what I say I am doing in this space up in that short little bio to the right-

On Bold Turquoise I share how we do life on our little 1895 farm- how we attempt to live both boldly and graciously, hopefully inspiring you to do the same.

Some things on my heart to share include-

  • How I am filling up in the midst of much pouring out
  • The method that is revolutionizing our homeschool, making learning natural and enjoyable
  • What our life looks like now with 4 kiddos and how I am working past “just surviving”
  • How a small community of women is helping change my life and my heart
  • Differences I’m finding between legalism and loving obedience
  • How I am using journaling to make future postpartum recoveries less emotionally taxing
  • The birth story of a little lady named Elliana

El & Em

Does any of this strike a chord with any of you?  Please share- I would truly love to know if any of you can relate…

This post is filed under BOLD blogging, BOLD Lifestyle, the BOLD confessional and has been tagged with Tags: ,

16 thoughts on “On Blogging and the Loss of Our Voices

  1. Allison

    Great post, and I’m glad you are back! I’m excited for the topics on your list, particularly because I miss you and can’t just have a long talk while our kids play outside anymore. Love you!

    Reply
  2. Andi

    Oh, I loved this post so much! Blogging does feel like such a different world than when we all first started years ago- I think often times that is what keeps me from writing too. I am so excited to hear more of your heart in this space, sweet friend! And maybe, just maybe, you will inspire me to write again too! xo

    Reply
  3. Connie

    I’m new to you, but I enjoyed this post and actually look forward to reading your upcoming posts. My husband and I are older than you and have made some decisions along life’s path that have been looked at as strange or whatever, so I can understand the trepidation you have in making all those choices known. In the end though, it’s all about obedience and doing what you have come to believe is the right path to take. Blessings on you and yours.

    Reply
  4. Leslie

    Hello,
    I’m not a blogger. I don’t have a website. I don’t even have a Facebook. I stumbled across one of your YouTube videos long ago and found your blog. I noticed you didn’t have any newer posts. Fast forward to today, I stumbled (again) on one of your YouTube videos and found your blog (…again) and read this. Leaving a legacy for our families. Wow! That really struck a chord with me. I can relate to what you’re saying about a lot of things. My husband and I have four children, two boys and two girls in that order. We have been married 10 years. The past two years, but especially last year, I feel we have been simplifying our lives and focusing more on serving Him with all our hearts, souls and minds. We want to leave an eternal legacy. I don’t know you at all…I don’t even know your name, but I’m praying for you and for your little family, that God leads you deeper and closer to Him with every passing day.
    God bless!

    Reply
    1. MacKenzie Post author

      I was so encouraged by your comment, Leslie, and so blessed that you stumbled across my blog again! Than you so much! I will be praying for your family as well! Please stop in every now and then to update me on how you are doing!

      Reply
  5. Lanna

    I kinda dropped off the blogging cliff as well.
    I’ve lucked out with a few great groups of friends, and have ended up spending more time with them – sharing stuff with each other on facebook/texts (where you can’t hear the kid squeals in the background, arranging playdates or girls nights (sorry, but sometimes I need a Shirley Temple and my girls so we can tackle random subjects that aren’t good for little ears).

    I never did the commercial/ad thing though, didn’t have the patience, and didn’t think it would make me enough money to be worth the hassle (not to mention the lack of traffic on my blog ever since I had to lock it down years ago). I like being able to do my own thing. All the how-to/expert posts have sometimes driven me nuts – especially if it’s written by someone who’s done this particular thing just the once (while I’m sitting on the other side of the screen with several years of it behind me, and the method may have not worked in the long run). But whatever, to each their own.

    Reply
  6. Ruthie

    Yes, yes, yes! I love this! It’s amazing how beauty just shines through an honest and vulnerable heart searching for God! I love it. I can resonate so much with the thoughts you shared here. I post just for family and friends on my little blog, nothing fancy. Even there I have to guard my words. Perhaps soon I can share more. It is not easy by any means to give your time in all the directions pulling on us for moms. I understand that. His grace is enough. Good to see your new little one. What a precious time in life (well, it all is right?). I looking forward to checking in another time. Blessings to you, mama.

    Reply
  7. Annette

    Could we please be friends? ! Love love love this past! I really want to start blogging again but…. I almost feel inadequate. It’s not the same as it started out. I honestly hey very annoyed with commercials on blogs to the point I will leave.

    Love your periscopes! One day I will catch you live! !!

    Reply
    1. MacKenzie Post author

      Sure! Let’s be friends! Haha!

      Thanks so much for your encouragement and support! We just need to start a real blogging revolution! Hope to see you around Periscope!

      Reply
  8. Billie

    Wow. I could have written this post! Yes. I was in the blogging arena for many years and many blogs. I was blogging back when blogging was newer and it wasn’t the beast it is now. I have been feeling the urging to “get back into” blogging after 3 or 4 years away. But I am still so hesitant because I just want to encourage and communicate through writing….and I know what will happen…I will get all sucked into the craziness of it all:)

    Anyway…I am enjoying your periscopes and look forward to your podcast. I was hooked when you mentioned you were an ENFP…so am I! To the extreme! So I’m inspired to see a fellow ENFP’er staying focused to create such great stuff!

    GOd bless ya in all of your new endeavors.

    Reply

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