Bold Turquoise

Apr 5 2011

Three remarkable women

My grandfather was a real piece of work. We lost count on the number of wives and/or girlfriends he went through (and yes, he often had both at the same time). I’m not sure what the appeal was. He was harsh, belittling and impossible to please.

Through my mom’s upbringing he popped in and out of her life in short bursts that really only ever amounted to more damage for the entire family. Until she had kids when, strangely enough, his seemingly life-long mission to avoid any children he was related to was replaced by his desire to re-establish a relationship with her so he could get to know my brother and me.

He was surprisingly lax with us. I even remember him allowing me to play barber shop and trim all of his arm hair with kid scissors as he smirked and seemed to almost enjoy the attention. He would come into town about once a year, with his current significant other in tow. She would smile ridiculously and make over-the-top attempts to get to know us and act like “family.”

Well, everyone except Gramma Linda. She was family- she didn’t have to act like it. She is the first of his wives/girlfriends (other than my grandma- my mom’s mom, but I never knew them together) that I really remember being there, a real part of our lives.  We loved having her come to visit and when they divorced we were happy for her but devastated that we might never see her again.

I can’t recount how it happened, because I was just too young, but somehow she stayed in the family and continued her yearly trips to stay with us and has remained our beloved Gramma Linda even now that he has been gone from this earth for 9 1/2 years (although they had been divorced many years prior).

She was there when I got married and when I found out I was pregnant with my first son.  She came shortly after he was born, almost five years ago, but since then had moved a little farther away and had been unable to make a visit again.

This past week, however, she was able to come again, and oh what a joy it was to see her!  We had the privilege of actually getting to have her over for two whole days while my mom was at work. We pretty much just hung out (which I felt kind of bad about because there just isn’t much to do during this time of year in our cold neck of the woods) but she didn’t mind a bit!  She was just happy to be here, spend time with my boys and catch up.

The highlight of her visit for me, though, was getting to make dinner for not only her but my mom and biological grandmother!  Yup- that’s right- two ex-wives of the same man!  I just had to get some pictures, because:

1- They both survived him! and…

2-They don’t hate each other!  In fact, they really like each other!

And really, I guess, why shouldn’t they?  Maybe there is even some comraderie there!  I mean, not many women can say they came out of a relationship with him and thrived on the other side!  Well… I think… like I said, there are too many to keep track of.  But regardless, I think it is pretty stinkin’ cool that they can both confidently come over for dinner at my house and even pose for a picture like this… with only slight begrudging (knowing they were headed for my blog- but hey, they made me post a picture of my booty!).  Heck, Grandma even picked up Gramma Linda from the airport!

I should probably say that by the end of his life my grandfather had gone on Prozac, gotten saved (Hallelujah! What a miracle!) and settled down with a woman who never had to endure his wrath.  My mom even considered him a good friend in the end.  They made their peace.  He was never a father but he did right himself in those last years and showed love the best way he could.   They bonded over computers and main coon cats- their friendship was true and she was there with him in his final days.

But these three women- my mom, my Grandma and my Gramma Linda- they deserve some sort of award!

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4 thoughts on “Three remarkable women

    1. boldturquoise Post author

      We absolutely did! My family still laughs about that time we were driving you back to Wenatchee and we went through the Dairy Queen line only to have the ice-cream cones melt all over everywhere! I still remember your mom’s teal planner that she kept next to the phone in the kitchen! I wanted one so badly! haha!


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